“We have such an aversion to waiting that we have even been known to knowingly drink very hot beverages,” writes Najma S. Abdusheikh
In today’s digital world, we can, with the click of a mouse, buy clothes or shop for groceries. We can instantly message anyone in the world and even when we want to eat our food is fast. It is a world that runs on convenience and competition.
It’s no wonder then that the popular adage ‘I don’t have time’ is so prevalent and is sometimes used to justify a lack of patience, a trait that has become so subtle to nurture within the hearts and minds of many people.
We have such an aversion to waiting that we have even been known to knowingly drink very hot beverages. We want everything like five minutes ago, we cut through queues and overtake on the road and our thirst for doing things in a hurry is always insatiable. I have met parents who were in such a rush for their children’s education, with that they expect- no- demand that they be reading and solving number work problems by the time they are five years old.
We are in an endless rush in every facet of our lives; it has become our norm to climb the tree from the top instead of the bottom and so we have miserably failed to shape and form our lives for a brighter future. Our appetite for shortcuts transformed our lives into a jigsaw-puzzle- it is a sad reality.
Impatience is the mother of all bad manners while patience is a virtue of the righteous and the wise. Patience is the ability to delay gratification and to wait for your turn. It is the ability to bear hardships and delays with a positive attitude and thankfulness. It is the capacity to say I am sorry I was wrong. It is the wisdom that says there is a time for everything and everything in its own time.
In Islam, patience is a very fundamental issue, it is well enshrined within the chapters of the Holy Quran and the sayings of our beloved prophet (SAW). Allâh has commanded patience for the Believers in the following âyah: “O you who believe! seek help with patient perseverance (sabr) and prayer…” (Al-baqara 2:153)
The great Muslim scholar, Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah in his book titled ‘patience and gratitude’ described sabr (Arabic for patience) as having so many meanings, he wrote that:
“If patience consists of restraining sexual desire, it is called honour, the opposite of which is adultery and promiscuity.
If it consists of controlling one’s stomach, it is called self-control, the opposite of which is greed. It if consists of keeping quiet about that which is not fit to disclose, it is called discretion, the opposite of which is disclosing secrets, lying, slander or libel.
If it consists of controlling one’s anger, then it is called forbearance, the opposite of which is impulsiveness and hasty reaction. If it consists of refraining from running away, then it is called courage, the opposite of which is cowardice.
If it consists of refraining from taking revenge, then it is called forgiveness, the opposite of which is revenge. If it consists of refraining from being stingy, then it is called generosity, the opposite of which is miserliness. If it consists of refraining from being lazy and helpless, then it is called dynamism and initiative.”
Patience is priceless, it cannot be bought but it can be taught. Here are some ways you can exercise your patience muscles to make you into a person worthy of emulating:
Make intention
Consciously make the decision to slow down, to trust in Allah’s Plan, to give people a chance, to keep silent or to speak up. Tell yourself you can be patient and that it is possible. So what’s in it for you? Why should you be patient? There are many advantages to be gained from it. You will stress less and people will like and respect you more. You will enjoy your days more and because you are not stressed as much, you are less likely to fall sick.
Keep silent and listen
True listening requires patience. Focusing your attention on someone’s words with the intention of learning and understanding demands of you to focus and block out all other distractions. Not an easy task for many people these days. So cultivate the habit of active listening to grow your reserves of patience. You might also win some fans in the process!
Forgive
Sometimes we are reluctant to let go of the grudge we might have against someone whom we perceive has done us wrong. We erroneously believe that forgiving means condoning the bad behavior. Stop giving people real estate in your heart- practice forbearance! Letting go and forgiving requires the strength of character which only the truly patient have.
Fast
The Almighty Allah says that you may become righteous. The act of abstaining from food, drink, marital relations and all vices is no small task. It is the consciousness of Allah that makes the believers so willingly and submissively fast. Fasting requires patience so if you are conscious of the fact that you are sadly lacking in the patience department fast as much as you can.
Spend time with children
Kids are a joy and their innocence will melt your heart. But they can also push you to your limits and you might find yourself screaming into your fist with irritation. Reigning in your anger and showing wisdom around them will supercharge the battery of your patience.
Make something with your hands
Forget plastic flowers, grow your own. Throw away the readymade meals, make your own from scratch. Put something together with a DIY (Do It Yourself) project. It will give you a sense of achievement you would not have thought possible and yes, your patience account will grow by leaps and bounds.
Read
Read an actual physical book in print form. Audiobooks, podcasts, and Youtube Videos are all very well but there is nothing like reading the old-fashioned way to give you a lesson in slowing down.
Najma S. Abdusheikh is a mother of three and an inspiring writer who is committed to spreading positivity and good attitudes.
