By Daud Hirmoge
I can vividly recall those memorable days and glorious nights that I spent with my beloved father. He was a special man who showed love and compassion in words and in action. As a young boy, I treasure those priceless moments of joy- a powerful source of nostalgia
My father’s fascinating stories, his overall gentle care and how I often ended up dozing off on his lap after endless rollercoasters, remain to be an unforgettable life experience between an adoring father and an obedient son.
Today, when I reflect on his choice of stories and how he narrated them so soothingly, I see myself in the funny yet insightful characters that gives a grotesque glimpse into my early life.
His Somali fairy-tales rich in cultural mementos mirrored my life instilling courage, wisdom and generosity. So was my dad, a man of immeasurable affection with a big infectious smile that defines fatherhood in a special way.
I will talk about Mum’s stories another day.
But daddy filled my childhood innocence with immense love and care. He touched my tender life in a very exceptional way and so until today I believe my dad was very different from other dads or maybe everyone believes their dad is the best.
The constancy of a parent’s love cannot be adequately described. Parental love is deep and everlasting. It is the most genuine feeling among humans. The love of a parent for their child is unconditional and it transcends any imaginable setback of disappointment, heartbreak or betrayal.
It is immeasurable and inestimable. A parent has the priceless responsibility of shaping and determining a child’s physical, emotional and mental wellbeing without putting any conditions or asking for payback.
Needless to say that parents may sometimes be very uncompromising while instilling discipline in their children or making decisions and giving little room for choices. But again nobody can challenge the fact that parents do everything in the best interest of their children.
So even when you are pinched or scolded or beaten by parents, as bad and ruthless as that may feel at that moment, it is nothing more than a parent trying hard to shape a life, a future, molding an iron lady or a smart gentleman out of you.
A simple reflection on your own past gives a picture of that and absolves parents of any blame. And even while parents sometimes take the blame for children who somehow veer off the way and engage in delinquencies or crime, in most cases parents have tried in vain to remedy such situations but failed, sometimes due to factors beyond their control.
While stories of children who have done a lot of good things for their parents are commonly told, nobody can actually claim that they have adequately paid back what their parents did for them. If someone was to claim that privilege, a simple reflection on a mother’s labor pain cancels that.
It is the most excruciating and tormenting pain on earth. As the Somali adage goes ‘nin aad dhashe kumadhalin’ which is loosely translated as ‘your child is not your parent”. Whatever you do, you cannot measure up to your parent’s love.
And that has hitherto stood the test of time until one lady, Hafuus Abdullahi from Mogadishu, epitomized the love a child can have for a parent by sharing her own liver with her father. We have always flattered about the imaginations of sharing heart and soul to demonstrate deep love but that has been abstract until Hafuus entered the operating theater to cut part of her liver for her ailing father. This is a powerful demonstration of absolute love I have heard about so far.
According to healthline.com, the liver is the largest solid organ in a human body. On average it weighs 3 pounds in adulthood and is roughly the size of a football. Without a functioning liver, a person cannot survive. It is vital for the body’s metabolic functions and immune system.
On November 26th 1987, the city of Ferrol in Spain inaugurated what is believed to be the only monument to the liver in the world. The then Mayor Jaimme Quintanilla who was also a doctor, thought it appropriate to promote the monument.
A plaque on the monument reads “The Liver is the basis of Life”. A similar monument in honor of Hafuus is not asking for too much and would encourage many to show more love and affection to their parents. If the liver is the basis of life, then she has given life to her father, literally.
While the liver is the only human organ that can regenerate itself over a period of time, it is again worth noting that, it takes real nerve, a rare audacity of love and sheer grit for a healthy person to share their liver with another person.
Yet this daring daughter from Mogadishu has done that for her father making it more heartwarming. More often than not, the stories we hear from Mogadishu do not paint a picture of city where beautiful souls like Hafuus live or where women can defeat fear and hopelessness with love and courage.
Hafuus makes Mogadishu and the Nation of Somalis proud but she also challenges all of us. She challenges everyone whose parents are alive to re-evaluate ourselves and reflect on how much we are doing to show our parents that their efforts to bring us up are not in vain.
Daughters are sweet and lovely and it takes only a caring dad to earn utmost love of his daughter. It is also a time fathers of daughters, like me, reflect on what more we can do to bring up daughters like Hafuus who stand by their parents every time.
The role of fathers in their daughters’ lives is often misunderstood and overlooked. It is mostly left to mothers to take good care of girls. However, fathers can pass a lot of wisdom and courage to daughters if they constantly connect and communicate with their daughters. That way, the daughters would grow into very strong, responsible and mature women who face life with courage and resolve.
And as they say, a dad’s first love is his daughter and a daughter’s first love is her dad, it is important to seize once-in-awhile golden opportunities that can redefine our relationship with our parents.
Hafuus’s expression of love, especially to her ailing dad is undoubtedly a unique embodiment of care and kindness that only true sons and daughters can do. Her story is a pleasant dream of every child. As our parents treated us like charming princes and princesses, isn’t it therefore the time to pay back with unconditional love.
That is why this story is like a time-machine for me, allowing me to get back into my childhood experience to enjoy all the memories all over again that I shared with my lovely dad. I love you daddy!
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