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Muslim Marriage: raising children the right way

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‘Modern parents are inveigling themselves into their children’s affection molding ragamuffin young men and women who are direction-less like a rambling rose.  Over the years, this kind of family situation up-scaled an inveterate family hostility.’

By Abdullahi Jamaa
Islam is a complete way of life where perfection and beauty meets to form a pristine culture that has stood the test of time from medieval ages to this modern era. Islam’s cultural maturity has manifested itself more in the society and more profoundly in the Muslim family.

Islam is family-oriented; it recognizes the role and responsibility of each and every individual that forms the family. It is a religion that has invested into its people to form a strong block of humanity.

In deed in Islam, family is a fundamental social unit that must be fortified with dignity and decency. Good and prosperous families will not only build great societies but also shape and form excellent humanity for the good of the universe.

The fundamental tenets and beliefs of Islam put the family into a fine equilibrium where the father, the mother and the child all find reassuring solace and solidarity.

parentingA family, whether big or small is what makes home a place of joy and happiness; in the same breadth, families that lack values and discipline can turn homes into disaster zones.  What makes a good family system are values invested by its members especially the father and mother.

Islamic parenting is a wide area that is seemingly grey to many modern parents. It is not like any other parenting, it is about empowering your child’s present and future for goodness of this world and in the hereafter.

As it is in the world today, family values are fraying at the edges; children’s childhood innocence is ravaged by civilization where the society’s future generation face a challenging century of falls and flops.

Social values are fading, families are disintegrating every passing day and the home as a center is not holding anymore.  The reason for most of this problem is attributed to poor family management where roles of parents and their children are waning.

It is more common to find rude and rigid children in our homes, sometimes violently abusing their own father and mother. This is a powerful indication of how bad the situation has grown over the years.

Modern parents are inveigling themselves into their children’s affection molding ragamuffin young men and women who are direction-less like a rambling rose.  Over the years, this kind of family situation up-scaled an inveterate family hostility.

Many children are showing propensity for violence where schools and other learning intuitions are dealing with compounding cases of indiscipline; tutors and teachers are finding it hard to deal with.

Under this hostile situation, many children have become more prosaic and underperforming both in their social and family roles. It is quite common to find an 18-year old lad misbehaving and arguing with his mother in public.

The child is a fundamental organ of the Muslim family; a good child is the apple of his parent’s eye. It is indeed a sign of mercy from Allah (SW) that he has allowed us to have children and that we take care of these children, taking care of them is a human practice that transcends religion and culture.

And to be surrounded by numerous progeny full of love and life is a lifetime achievement and a procrastination of every parent. Children must be led to grow towards the right direction so that they become a protégé of great Muslim rulers, scientists and Ulamas.

From a very young age, children must be allowed to grow with an enormous confidence and strength of purpose in order to reassure the family in particular and the society in general about their future roles.

They must be freed from the shackles of modernization that has come with a lot of ravages. Moderation and modesty must be part of the rules at every home that intends to build a prosperous family.

Islam puts more emphasis on children and how they are suppose to be brought up. It defines the role of parents in inculcating family values and raising children that are beneficial to the society.

There are ideals that constitute Islamic parenting and these are deeply entrenched in the Holy Quran and the traditions and sayings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

Islam establishes a legal framework, and embodies a code of ethics, designed to protect the rights of an individual including his or her right to live in a secure society.  For children, security is of the upmost importance.  The rights of a child begin even before birth; in fact they begin before conception.

The Quran and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) make it clear that two people should not enter into a marriage carelessly.  A great deal of thought and preparation is necessary before man and woman commit to each other and to the family that may result from their union.

This pre-parenting preparation is part and parcel of Islamic parenting where caring for and raising children in the proper manner is a duty on parents. We must appreciate that it is not an easy venture but we must also remember that it is worth concerted efforts and dedications.

Prophet Muhammad said, “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.  The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.  A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock.  A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock”.

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