By Nasra Abdullahi
We all have made friends at one point in our life right from our childhood, whether they were our play buddies or kindergarten friends then progressing into high school friends and our neighbors’ kids.
We would share with each other our wishes and our dreams, and when something felt heavy on our hearts we promised each other we would laugh about it together when we would be grandmothers.
And suddenly life feels fragile and busy. We never know if there will be time for us to continue to laugh and catch up as before. This sums up how we meet different people at different stages of our life right from our childhood till our last moments.
There are good friends as well as bad friends. When asked about a good friend, we all often boil it down to one quality, presence. A good friend is present in good times as well as bad. They are there whether if it’s helping us through grievances or being by our sides when we are sick.
What makes a good friend?
Good friends are always honest — honest enough to tell you when you’re not being a good friend to yourself. Most of us want to surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we want to hear but having good friends means that they will tell us what we need to hear instead, even if we do not want to.
Good friends remind us of the obligations of our deen. In Islam, we say that your best friend is the one who in seeing him reminds you of Allah, in speaking to him increases your knowledge, and his actions remind you of the hereafter.
Friendship is highly stressed in our religion. Not only is it encouraged, but the importance of having good friends and surrounding yourself with good company is relayed to us through many hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and his companions.
We are taught that we are the mirrors of our friends and they are ours, for this reason, we have to be good both in character and actions and reflect on the choice of friends we make.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends” (Tirmithi)
We should not be the companion of those who persist in major sins and do not fear Allah (The Most High), as this person’s attitude towards you will change according to their conditions and efforts.
Why good friends are important
Friends help us reduce stress and depression. They help us relieve stress, provide us with comfort and joy as well as help us prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health.
Lack of social connection may pose as much of a risk as leading a sedentary lifestyle. Friends are even tied to longevity. A Swedish study found that, along with physical activity, maintaining a rich network of friends can add significant years to your life.
Even if it’s just having someone to share your problems with, friends can help you cope with serious illnesses, loss of a job, or any other challenges in life. As we go through stages of life, we go through many hardships that can often leave us isolated. Knowing that there are people you can turn to for company and support can give us purpose as we age.
Friends are known to give and take from each other. Giving to our friends contributes to our own sense of self-worth. Being there for each other makes us feel needed and adds purpose to life. That is why the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) told us to love for believers what we love for ourselves.
Choosing good friends
Always look for the best in a friendship. Never associate yourself with someone who has bad traits. Such as the one who fails to content himself, tend to explode when he is angry and exaggerating the happiness when he’s excited. Be the company of someone who is giving help whenever possible and who fears Allah a lot.
If you associate yourself with greedy or evil people, it will increase your greed and transgressions as well. Stay away from them completely. If a friend has no connection with Allah drop him, if he is negligent of praying on time keep a spiritual distance.
Good friends have the power to mold you into the best version of yourself. They see you and love you for who you truly are. They encourage you and push you to do better and be the person you want to be -your ideal self.
Actively looking for and working toward developing diversified friendships is the most effective way to expand your circle of friends. When you have a diverse group of good, dependable and religious friends you have a better view of what the entire world is like rather than just your little corner of it.
Choose friends who stay true to their religion and culture. Choose friends who are honest and sincere. Choose friends who are ahead of you in worship and the love for deen.
Be blessed.
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Nasra Abdullahi is a third-year student at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology. She is an upcoming writer passionate about family and community issues. Follow her on Instagram @ n.a.s.r.y.n
