By Nasra Abdullahi
Often in our contemporary communities, we stray far away from our families and may not talk to them sometimes for years and years. We may harbor bigoted sentiments that we no longer have something in common.
Many times we may choose to run away from our homes, maybe because we have some ensuing disagreements that are too painful to face, yet it is not a bolt from the blue that our roots hold the key to our future.
Now, if we do not face where we come from, it becomes difficult to understand both our present and future. It all goes back to the Somali saying that ‘however hard you shake (your hand), your bad finger will not fall off’. Whether good or bad, be thankful that you have a family. Remember, there are so many homeless people.
It is only death that can break the family circle at the fireside. Searching for pleasure away from home and your people is a wild imagination. It is indeed bitterness in the midst of an empty joy.
Do not forget your old home-roof, the makeshift open hearth that served as your kitchen, and the perforated boma that once offered you a blissful sanctuary, a past that defines your struggle for life.
We all wish to come from a great family for indeed a good family is like a blossoming tree with strong roots and branches that leaves behind a generation of progeny that extends its significance to the larger community.
You have to come back to your senses and be a comrade with your kin. Independence doesn’t mean cuttings family ties. Freedom is not about avoiding the people who shaped and formed an important part of your life.
Family is an institution that relies largely on the performance of its members. Every member is a homemaker that must take up the role and responsibilities of building a home full of life and love. Your family is important and so you must play your part.
My Family
Different people think of different things when asked about family, for me, it’s one of my greatest assets. Family means much more to me than just a home where we live or people we share lineage with. It means love and strength, a shoulder to lean on. It is a forever type of support system.
Whenever am going through something, I will rather seek my family’s support because human beings need each other’s love and support and family is able to give you that. This is mostly because we are able to thrive well in an environment that makes us feel secure and knowing that someone is going to stand by us, regardless of what.
As a family member and a beloved daughter to my parents, I spend time with my family to learn from them whether it be a secret recipe, stories of the past or wisdom. My biggest and proudest role to my beloved parents is being able to support them and stand up for them in situations like a trip to the doctor or sorting out documents for them.
As little and petty as it sounds I know that as they grow older they need me by their sides. Indeed our parents are the engines of our families, they need a lot of care as they age gracefully.
Allah says in the magnificent Quran:
“Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect… and act humbly to them in mercy.” Qur’an 17:23-24.
Taking care of our parents is the best and most decent way to support our families, then follows our close family members such as uncles, aunts, siblings, and in-laws. We have also other relatives to connect with and support them when and if possible.
It is not all about paying bills and sending money back home. It is all about sharing life in a simple and sweet way, like greeting them, visiting them and sharing memorable moments with your kith and kin.
Sense of belonging
One of the most important parts of having a family is having somewhere to belong to and having lovely people to share your blessings and problems with. Human beings tend to shy away from telling our problems to others but it’s easier to do so with a member or members of our families, may it be the mother or father or siblings.
We must be able to show a sense of belonging to our family by offering encouragement to any member who is venturing in something and taking pleasure in their achievements regardless of how small it is.
If a person has a strong family, they’ll always be able to find the love and support they need. With their family behind them, a person will find the motivation and courage for success. On the other side, if a person isn’t getting love and support from a family structure, they’ll feel lonely, depressed, and even hopeless.
Some families fight and break up, this shows that family is not defined by genes alone but built and maintained through love and forgiveness. This gives us a powerful reason to nurture morals and ethics in our families.
All families have conflict, it is natural and part of human relationships to find confrontations and misunderstandings. Strong families are able to work through things they disagree about by focusing on the problems, rather than by “tearing each other down”.
In the Quran, we are told that we should show kindness to family members and relatives signifying the place of family in our blessed religion. Connecting with family members and supporting them is an Islamic requirement.
“Do not let the people of virtue and affluence among you swear to suspend donations to their relatives, the needy, and the emigrants in the cause of Allah. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love to be forgiven by Allah? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful” Qur’an 24: 22.
Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights and our comfort when we occasionally falter. It’s also one of the most important, if not the most important thing in our lives. We should all, therefore, aim in raising children who will be beneficial to us and our families not just for this world but also for the next.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
“Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them; a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Have a wonderful family.
Nasra Abdullahi is a third-year student at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology. She is an upcoming writer passionate about family and community issues. Follow her on Instagram @ n.a.s.r.y.n
