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Absentee husband: balancing faith, family & work

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By Abdullahi Jamaa
Murad (not his real name) is back from a hard day’s work. Exhausted and hungry, he throws himself over the sofa trying to relax his body yet at the back of his mind tomorrow appears like a dreaded monster.

Routinely, Murad’s long working day starts as early as 7am when he begins by dropping his young son Salim at school and then he is off to his work place.

On the way to work, inside his car he gets his mind ready for work; the routine morning meetings, the emails, the reports and endless thoughts about daily office operations.

For years Murad’s daily work-life has been overwhelming. At his level he is trying his best to balance his work, faith and family life. Raised as an orphan, he struggled through the bane of life, looking forward to secure a bright future for his young family.

With an intense internal satisfaction he appreciates himself for the hard work, the beautiful struggle of putting food on table and for standing tall for the welfare of his family.

Back home, his young wife and two little children are a worried lot, the absence of Murad from home means a lot to them. Sometimes he makes his way to home very late, missing dinner with the kids or sometimes turning up when they are fast asleep.

Being away from home for more than 10 hours every single day except Sunday, Murad is more of an absentee husband unaware of his family’s home situation.

On Sundays he finds time for his friends and sometimes attends political and social gatherings. In the meantime, the wife holds on to her marital obligation though feeling unloved and unappreciated.

For years, the kids and their mother were looking forward to that day when they will have time to enjoy with their father. But that day is always elusive, every day is a working day for Murad.

Yet he is seemingly contended with his work life, building up his impressive career at the expense of his young family who need more than the bills and breads.

The bubbly young father is also unable to meet his Islamic obligations. Overtaken by the world of work and career, he rarely performs the five daily prayers with congregation at the Masjid.

He has been reduced to a Friday Muslim occasionally donning his white thobe attending prayers once in a week at a neighbourhood Masjid.

Murad is a living example of many Muslim professionals who are unable to balance their work, faith and family life. Searching for material success and fulfilment they dedicate their lives to their work to the detriment of home and family.

Has work become an invader or liberator of our family and faith? Yes life sometimes takes over but it should not always. A certain degree of balance between work and other realms of life is required to achieve some form of success.

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